A Deadly Combination

Haven't been blogging for a long time. My mind could not accommodate anything else but work. Not a very good thing. Much has happened since my last post, so allow me to post a fast update for my own remembrance on this chapter in my life.

Just had a mini-operation for hernia. Still darn painful after removing the stitches yesterday.

Business is getting better, but still frustrated about how things are running in the office. (Must keep things simple and keep my eye on the ball.)

Got in and out of a bad relationship with a Filipino nurse. (What the hell was I thinking!!??)

Paid the deposit for my new wheels (chair). Its a titanium one!! (Can't wait to get my butt on it. Gonna mod it like a mad man also.) Look out for some pictures of it in my post next week.

Anyway, some things have been bugging me like mad lately. It happen less often now as I was too busy to let anything bug me. I started going for counseling sessions when a fellow counselor was so kind to offer his help in breaking the gates that could be holding me back on my future growth. Going to see him again on Thursday. (Really looking forward to it.) Talking to him have help me realize a lot of things about myself. It also open floodgate of emotions that I never knew it was there. (Well...maybe I knew it was there, but could not really put a finger on it.) I somehow knew what I need to change in my life and was going at it like a bulldozer. Sadly, some of the results are less than desirable. However, I don't seem to regret doing things the way I did. I knew that if I had not, the results will be far more less desirable.

I am a man of extreme that is fighting hard to find the balance that I yearn for. Life to me is very much black and white without much ambiguity. You are or you are not. No in between. When we think we are moderately balanced, we are simply choosing to respond in two extremes in different situations. The challenge is in knowing and using the correct extreme in a timely manner and in an appropriate situation.

My beef today is about a deadly combination that I have observed recently in the people I been meeting. Its a combination of two traits that makes a personality repulsive. I may sound harsh or even judgmental in my choice of words, but it is only fair to say that I have discern these traits not to condemn but to learn of life and how I should live it well. The two combining personality that is to be found in a person that ensure his early spiritual and mental demise are Pride and Sloth. Sure we are sometimes proud and lazy, but when we go to the extreme or stay at it, we are better off not living (I like to say dead, but then again, why not?) /dead.

For every living breathing being, there is a destiny that awaits him to take hold of. When he choose not spur himself towards it because he thinks he deserves better and feels that it should come to him instead is being ridiculously naive and idiotic. My beef with these personalities are when they ask of me to pick up their sh*t after them. Would you not be pi**ed?

Their lives on this path are peppered with critical remarks, skeptical faith and cynical sarcasms. They would find no fault of their own but blame anyone or anything for their miserable state of life. I cannot understand how or what or why they are thinking! Their destinies thus become a lesson for others of what not to become. The more I observe of them, the more I learn about how I should respond to setbacks, failures or discouragement. Which is not to become proud and not give up trying again. Proud and lazy people simply chose the easy way out. They reason that its not worth trying anymore. They strongly believe, if they can't, nobody else can. Ooohh I so like to prove them wrong.

Well...much more can be learn of them and even from ourselves when we tether on the edge of pride and sloth. I am learning to catch myself before I go over that edge and I encourage you to do so too. If anyone were to catch me before I catch myself, you are allowed to call me a proud lazy pig. BTW, give me a kick on the arse while you're at it ok?

Anyway...GTG. Pain meds are making me drowsy. Will catch you soon.

Tata..

Michael Kuan a.k.a WindyG

P.S: Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming swimming swimming.