Consistency & Change

Lord, grant me the serenity,
to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.
- The Praying Hand

Couldn’t have said it any better myself. Man, we are all but creatures of habits. Unfortunately for some, mostly they are bad habits. While there are some that would be bored when things remain consistently the same, there too are the majority that are terrified of change and resist them with every muscles they got. We are also people of extreme too. Here lies the big freaking problem, there are far too many that are changing what should be consistent (love, passion, values, beliefs and discipline) and being consistent with what they should being changing (thoughts, ideas, systems, methods and skills). We are clueless to the difference. The blind are leading the blinded with many having the herd mentality. No wonder breakthroughs require the individual to stick out like a diseased sore thumb. Too few answer the call to effect changes in the society, which I am not surprised by it. We wouldn’t and couldn’t even manage the changes that are happening in our lives!

Our primordial instinct is to run. To stick is to swim upstream and to decide not to conform. Decide, it’s as easy as that. Christopher Columbus stuck to his course to prove the world is round, the Wright brothers stuck with their dreams to fly like the birds and great leaders (both good and bad ones) stuck to their vision of a better world. It is said, while everything is permissible, not everything is beneficial. So it is important to separate the wheat from the chaff, and then to rid the chaff. We are also afraid. Afraid of one main thing, the UNKNOWN. To remain consistent and to effect change needs courage.

While many understand that to effect change require courage, many too fail to see that consistency (a.k.a discipline) requires courage too. Why so? Well, the discipline need the courage to face the probability of whatever they are doing consistently may not turn out to be successful at all. Where come to the crossroads of decisions, it tends to sway to two different extremes. Change to survive or stay focus or you’ll die. Paradoxical dilemma isn’t it? We hate this kind of scenarios and tend to be lukewarm a.k.a fence-sitter. We rather let others make the decisions for us and are petrified when we face with the responsibilities or consequences of them. At least this way, we can blame someone or at least something.

Face up with life’s adversity; we yearn to break free or breakthrough. But this is the hard hitting truth…we want the roses but reject the thorns. We want to see stars but don’t want to be in darkness. We want to go heaven…but don’t want to die. The simple true also lies here. Life is not a buffet. It is a one type dish. Take it all and live with it. Deal with it and make do with whatever you have. Whining, groaning and moaning bring us no where. The delicate balance requires a tremendous amount of wisdom but only a sprinkling of faith. Moving forward, we will be able to step into realm of a breakthrough, which do come about with two actions, change and discipline. We all just need to figure out when we need to do what we have to do.

To recognize the proper measures to be taken, to change or to stay the course makes a boy a man, a girl to a lady and the mediocre great. Many sought after the answer to the meaning of life, in my opinion; the answer is to live out our life according to our each unique destiny. Never mind if you haven’t find out what your true destiny is yet, just make sure you are still looking for it. If you found yours, change things that are getting in your way and stay the course without letting anything else distract you. Love life, serve all and I guarantee you will feel that sticking out as a sore thumb is not that bad after all. You might even enjoy it, coz you found you.

Be a zoom lens…all or nothing at all,
Michael Kuan a.k.a WindyG

Chinese Version

A Fool with a cause...

I have owed myself this write-up for a long time. This post would be quite different from my normal posts as I am not blogging about a specific topic but about a person. I am blessed to be in contact with many types of people. Some were of unsavory character, some really quirky ones and also some that are beyond inspiring to me. The people that I would blogging about taught me things, philosophies and most importantly, how I should live this life. There are two purposes of why I am blogging about them. One, it is for me to remember the lessons taught well by them. Two, it is for others to learn how to learn from them. You will even see similarities about the person I am describing here that is a person that may be present in your life too.

While I am blessed to meet a lot of good people, there are also those that cause me a lot of heartaches. While I have asked those good people for their permission to put their names and faces herein, I would only be using close pseudonyms on those that has causes me pain through their ridiculous actions. I have to emphasize though, that these posts are written with a lot of emotional investments on my part. So in some I may come across as being very judgmental, condescending or even contemptuous. I would like to say that they are just serious in-depth analysis of a person’s character so that we can learn to know what we should learn from the described person and what we should not.

While I seriously advocate that we should be gracious to people that are in our lives, I also subscribe to the belief that there are the some that we should avoid at all cost. I also hope to be able to share on how I dealt with or communicate with these people and also when I know I must cut my losses and run away before I am dragged through mud by them. Now to get on with a right footing, I would first blog about someone that is truly amazing and inspiring in his own way. Mr. Y K Foo a.k.a Foozy (Click here for his friendster profile.)

An established photographer that seen places that we could only dream of, met people that we would drool over, and did amazing things that we couldn’t even begin imagining ourselves doing. Now in his early 50s, he still live life passionately and has a heart of love that could rival a teenager. Matured in thoughts and passionate in action, he does sometimes find himself in a fix that made him wonder how he got there in the first place. Father of three great boys and dedicated to his art, he often reflects on issues that many people at his age would instead be embittered with, he usually take deep breath to go at it again.

I met him about a year ago at a pub while I was with an unsavory character that I was trying to ‘learn’ from. My first impression of him was simply a blank. A simple looking man but yet you can’t really put a finger on his thoughts or find words to describe him with. Till now, he still continues to surprise me with little nuggets of info that will leave me rolling with laughter or bawling with tears. Modest in many ways, the humility I felt in him weeks after told my heart to get even closer. As I get to know him better, I found that he spent a big chunk of his life in England and most of Asia as a missionary. The people he has helped still remember him fondly and were grateful to how he has been their turning point. He was their compass that point to the light at the end of a winding tunnel.

While I could go on and tell you of his many virtues, he too is like anyone of us, an ordinary fallible human being. Like all of us, he has his weaknesses and bad habits but he still shines as he kept proper perspectives and triumph through it. Most impressionable, there are three things that I learn from him that I hope would stay with me for the rest of my life. They are;

Stay Real

Never be what you are not. Staying faithful to what you know and keep trying whenever you know you fall short. He never let me felt he has a ‘better than thou’ attitude towards anybody. I have never heard a word from him that would put me down. Being real is about calling a spade, a spade. He shows what he is struggling with to a privilege few and let them know he needs help and encouragement too. I have met many people in their 50s. Sadly, many of them are unteachable, worse when they are filled to the brim with pride. They are afraid to show their realness for fears that it would make them vulnerable and get hurt. Well, Foozy do get hurt when he laid himself bare to a friend, but it did not stop him from doing it again. Why so? He knows that the benefit of advice and wisdom that many would bring him would far outweigh the pains.

Stay Humble

No matter how good he is, he always knew that there are some that are better than him. You will never be too low or too high to be his friend. He treats you the same whether it be that you are some international celebrity or a Bangladeshi that cleans his studio. Through his photographic lens, everyone looks beautiful and he will make sure that it shows in his photographs. Foozy is one of the most accepting person I know as he believes that people will always have their good sides, no matter what they have done. Yes, there are those who try to make a sucker out of him. He would let them, but that would be the last time they do. In his humility, he found strength through the simple man and found wisdom with Kings. In his way, I am sure, he would always be on top of his game.

Love Anyway

Mother Theresa, when commended for her work amongst the poor in Calcutta said, “It’s easy to love people far away. It’s not always easy to love those who live right next to us. There are thousands of people dying for a piece of bread, but there are thousands more dying for a bit of love or a bit of acknowledgment. The truth is, the worst disease today is not leprosy or tuberculosis, it’s being unwanted, it’s being left out, it’s being forgotten.” Visiting a nursing home, she found the residents sitting in wheelchairs facing the door. “Why are these people looking toward the door?” she asked. “It’s like this everyday” the nurse replied. “They’re always hoping somebody will come and visit them. Their loneliness is eating them up.”

This being the last but never the least virtue he has, made him all the more lovable. You could really learn what the term “love your enemies” meant through him. His love stems from the love he receives freely. By allowing himself to be loved, it empowered him to love others. While many would love to have people loving them, they would unknowingly and frequently sabotage themselves by disallowing people to love them. You may wonder how one does that. Simply by having low self-esteem, selfishness and a haughty attitude would have been enough to put people at miles length. He cares much about knowing you as an individual and loves to give the abundance he has already received. Many would abuse his love, but he loves them anyway. He may grow weak and frustrated like any man when his love is not reciprocated, but when his heart’s storms settled, he makes a firm decision to love again and anyway.

He is quite an anomaly in life for as he will not conform his views to what is most popular or trendy. In fact, many would think he’s quite a foolish Foozy. I somewhat agree, but then he is above those who is proclaimed to be ‘wise’. He is a ‘fool’ with a cause, which made him surpass the ‘wise’, noisy and empty vessels.

Foozy, if you are reading this, thank you for being my friend. I pray that I would be strong enough to be the privilege shoulder for you to rest awhile when you are weary and the ass-kicking friend if you ever stray. Your wisdom is cherished and may you prevail in your race. Keep the faith, fight a good fight and finish the race bro. Race you in heaven.

A fellow fool…
Michael Kuan a.k.a WindyG

What is Love??? (Part 2)

Click to see Part 1 Here.

What’s worth dying for?

Love. No more or less. In my quest to know of love, I found a treasure chest that I wouldn't trade for anything in the world. Again I must point out; the love I am talking about is not limited to romantic love. Sadly, most people could only associated love with what they felt for their spouses or with whom they are infatuated/lustful. Whether we like it or not, the sum of our lives are determine by who we love and who love us. Regardless of how you feel, someone loves you or at least once did or tried to.

You may have notice by now that my pet topic is love. It is my life's quest to know of love, to act on love and to be fulfilled by love. Life is too short for me to invest my time on anything or person that I can't love. My passion in life must grow continually and be felt intensely for me to consider my life well lived. Any ideas or passion that is half bucket is better not having at all. The strength love can empower and bring is the incredible extraordinary spirit onto any individual that is willing. If you think love hurts, well, it's because you think it did. Love never hurt for true love seeks the well-being of the object of love. The concept of self is always minimal and negligible in the one that knows the fullness of love. Nonreciprocating love becomes irrelevant as love is supposed to be given unconditionally.

I am fortunate to learn of love through great experiences. No doubt some experiences are not all too pleasant, they are nevertheless great experiences. Some people might even live through life without really knowing what love is all about. I too may not know fully what love is about, but I know clearly what love is not about. So thru this knowing, I may come to know love more. Take a walk with me and know what love is not; It's not...

About having

Contrary to what we would like, love is not about possessing. We want what we want. That's wanting, not loving. It's been said if you really love something, you have to let it go. It does sound lame most times, worst is when it sounds like a bad case of sour grapes. Frustrating it may be, man's efforts trying to reconcile with truth are all fraught with contradiction. What they felt contradicts what it is taught by the world. I do take comfort in a fact though, they struggle. In their struggles I could conclude, that in their inner being they are capable of true love.

About logic

I couldn’t figure out the whys of love. As it defies common logic and clouds the senses. I can see the effect and power of love but could not pin down the reasons behind it. Hope I’m making sense here ya? When the unlovable are loved with the same intensity as the lovable are loved, all logic went out the window in a zippy. Ever heard of the father’s love for the prodigal son? Is that true love? Suffice to say, it is. As illogical it may seems, it fulfill the pinnacle of love, the ‘Agape’ love. When man attempt to box love through the media and flowery philosophy, love breaks through it all and remains a much sought after mystery.

About now

Love always hope. Do you still hope when what you hope for is realized? Love looks to what can be, the future that is way beyond the context of now. If love is allowed to remain on the present (or immediate) or sadder still when love reminisces about the past, it starts to fall apart and decay. Love’s strength is drawn from hope; it breathes faith, endures with patience and conquers with kindness. Love knows the meaning of delaying gratification intimately.

There is much to know about love, as too there is much love would like to know about me. To know love is to seek wisdom and to love is to know the beginning of everything. Who or what then is love? Yes…love is a being too. Love is the Creator and the Creator is Love. Religiously airy words? Fortunately, it is not. Dwell upon it well and come to a conclusion on your own. If you beg to differ and are convicted by your thoughts that prove otherwise, then settle it with a private discourse with me. For I want to know what you think, as much as I want to know what I know that is proven wrong.

Always in Love,
Michael Kuan a.k.a WindyG

A Vicious Cycle...

Think about this,

How we behave is affected by how people treat us.

How people treat us is affected by how we behave.

A vicious cycle of chicken and eggs.

For the cycle to break, one of the two scenarios has to happen first.

One, people must start to treat us differently first (very unlikely).

Two, we must start behaving differently even when people still treat us the same.

Just a food for thought...go think about it ya?

Fallen from Grace

As grace fall away in one's life, so does he start to decent into a world of gloom and doom. The term ''fallen from grace", meant much more than only applying it in the spiritual world. A man who by his actions disallows grace completely in his life is filled with only bitterness and is totally void of love. To live a loveless life is to be better off dead. We are made to love. Yes...you read me right. We are not made to work for money or material things that would surely perish. They are just the necessary but not the purpose of life. Why do I link grace with love? Simple, without love there can be no grace. Not only that, there also wouldn't be joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness and most importantly self-control. In fact, without love, the society we live in would be only pure anarchical in nature.

Grace is one of the main expression of love. It is also the highest and lowest point, the beginning and the end of what love can achieve. Let me explain what grace is about by telling you about grace's lower form, mercy. Mercy is withholding punishment from a deserving person. Grace is the giving of goodness to an undeserving person. To not slap you when you slapped me (for no reason) is mercy. To treat your injured hand after you slapped me is grace (or o.k.a foolishness).

Though not a very good analogy for grace, I believe it is simply this, grace is the ability to give good gifts or kindness to an undeserving party. A person can be undeserving merely by being a stranger to me. Therefore being ungracious is to assert my rights when his rights conflict with mine. Being gracious meant I have to give up my rights so that his rights can be met.

For the later part of his career as Singapore's premier, SM Goh envisions Singapore to be a more gracious nation. As a society evolved to be more affluent, the members of such a society become more aware of their own rights. Therefore, they would naturally do two things with their new awareness. One, assert their rights to the fullest and become a selfish idiot. Two, give up some rights and let others have their rights fulfilled, thus apply grace.

For grace to exist, love must exist first. For those who are shallow and define love being only applicable to those they know, well, you are just being plain shallow. When love is expressed fully, the self fades into the background. It didn't cease to exist, it is simply someone replacing it on the pedestal. Love grows. Its intensity varies with the various types of love an individual is capable of expressing. The simple love for a fellow mankind is practice by the rare few. To have compassion for the hurting and in need is too be sensitive and conscious of someone besides ourselves.

I have been quite impatient recently, especially to people obstructing my hurried life. I asserted my right of way and shameless portrayed an ungracious side of me that I'm not surprised it exist. However, a simple revelations that it has emerged was quite enough to jolt me into suppressing him fast. We are quite capable of giving grace, but we give it selectively. Lots to our love ones, some to our friends and none to perfect strangers. Hurt and disillusioned enough, an individual can altogether stop giving any. He would then be filled with bitterness that you can taste in the air whenever he is near. Every words that leaves his mouth would be cynical, critical and skeptical. His actions tell the world that he's looking out for 'numero uno', himself.

As freely a person receives grace, he would also give grace unreservedly. The most gracious people I am fortunate to be acquainted with are people that felt they received a lot of grace. They are always patient and forgiving. Don’t treat them like a fool though for I assure you they are not. In fact, I find their wisdom to be very refreshing. They possess an inner ability to discern and dispense grace freely without being taken for granted or as “Uncle Roberts”. On the other hand, people that are ungracious finds themselves bitter without the ability to recognize the grace they are given, even when it is right in their face. When receiving grace, they were under the misconception that they deserve it as though it is their right. Perhaps they don’t find themselves at the receiving end of grace most time, and most time when they tried to give grace, they end up hurt or “jaded”. I have always told my fellow disabled that, “Whatever is given to us as a privilege must never be misunderstood as an entitlement”. The world does not owe us anything much less a living just because we are people with disabilities.

Whether or not I am a gracious person is not really my major grouse. It is only when I can answer truly to myself the question of, “Am I treating people with respect and dignity regardless of how I feel?” The dying of self is comparable to the mythical phoenix. It would rise as a beauty once again from the ashes. Provided, that I am willing to die to myself first. Being gracious to people around me would create a cascading effect know as the “butterfly effect”. It has to start somewhere, so why not me? Imagine when everyone is looking out for each other rights, would your rights not be looked after when you are looking out for somebody else’s? To live free from the carnal bondages of a demanding world, I have to not conform to it but live paradoxically. In the end, I would like to see heaven on earth in my lifetime.

A willing recipient and giver of grace,
Michael Kuan a.k.a WindyG