To be the being.

"Discern not by a person's words but by his deeds." ~ANON

It's is so easy. Easy said but not done. Flaky characters are a plenty in the current business climate. I tend to tither on the brink sometimes too. Consciousness about my talk matching my walk is a tedious exercise. The big discount i give myself is unabashedly shameful. However, i take comfort with a strong awareness of my efforts. It's better to try hard and fail than to not try and fail. Then again what is the benchmark? Who holds the yardstick on efforts??? As each man's heart is deceitful, are we sure we are not kidding ourselves? I ask too many questions...

To breeze through life with sub-standard requirements on oneself is consider pathetic by me. Yet to demand nothing but the best is ridiculous and unrealistic. What i yearn for is just the marrying of the two. To know that my life is expend to its fullest, to know i did my best. I was once under a cloud of idealism, but now the cloud turn grey with pragmatism. What a wretched state!

Going off topic abit. What makes life a whole? What does being a human being encompass? Recently, i had a bout of loneliness striking me hard. I felt that my life is incomplete when i have no one to share it with. Yet i fear what being in a relationship requires of me. The many experiences drives me away instead of drawing me near. My defences are on auto-pilot. Wanting yet not wanting. Arh...better die la. "Suan le ba." Am i getting desperate? What adice can anyone give me?

It was once said,"When life gives you lemons, make lemonades". It means to me i have to accept and make do with my life. If it is to be, it will be. Whether or not i whine and groan over it won't make much difference. Jyst keep trying until i can try no more. Keep your dreams. That the only thing no one can take away from you. Everything else are just a passing cloud. Enjoy life. Carpa Diem. Do drop me a note. Let me know what you think. That's if you are thinking at all ya?

Reaching deep,
Michael Kuan a.k.a WindyG

An Unequal Yoke...

"No two man can walk in sync unless they chose to." ~ WindyG

Something is nagging me. Its just started nagging me and i believe it will nag me for a long time to come. Well...you see, I'm a Entrepreneur of sorts. My job entails me of matching the right stuffs together. May it be the right solutions, right person, right budget, right project, etc, etc. What is nagging me is something that is potentially mismatched and the question of should i allow it to continue...

We don't usually like mismatched stuffs. By nature we know when things are mismatched. Like socks, colors, ties, clothes, etc. However, i find it weird when sometimes someone (like myself) accepts a gross mismatched! After the many fallouts I experienced I now chose my decisions carefully. Well..hmm...for starters I been through fourteen mismatched relationships, eight business partnerships, two crutches, countless mobile phones, gadgets and etc, etc. So how did I get myself into it in the first place?? Well, simple actually. I was in denial! Thus now I shall attempt to find out why it "looks so good" yesterday.

We may be mismatched when...

1) It looks too good to be true.

Usually it is not. The girl/boy/partner/job is a gift from heaven we proclaim! Wait! Stop! Look! Then you start to peel the facade and see if you can really accept it.

2) It starts getting too heavy on only one side.

Usually its on my side. When I give more than i take in a supposedly "give and take" situation.

3) You get a disgusted feeling when you see the ugly side.

Well..what can i say? Most of the time its already there way before you start! You mean you can't accept your girl/boy picking her/his nose only now???

4) You can't move forward.

That's what really diss me big time! You want to move forward yet the "mismatched" holds you hentak kaki!

5) WORSE! You start moving backwards!

OMG!!! You end up poorer, bitter, disillusioned, angry, hope you get the picture.

I wrote this because I need structured rational thought. I need to see a bigger picture before I commit. Don't get me wrong that I'm commitment-phobic. I am just wiser. We get into mismatched situations when we let our emotions rule over our minds. Take a deep breath, a step back and lotsa prayer time. That outta get your perspectives straighten out. So now then answer these questions before you buy that dress, marry that gal/guy, sign the deal, chose that tie...

Do you still want to go heaven when you surely need to die first to get there?
Do you still want the roses with the thorns??
Do you still want to see the stars when you know you need to be in darkness???
Do you want that heart surgery when you know its gonna hurt real bad????
Do you want that child knowing that he/she might hate you sometimes?????
Do you want love without being loved??????

There's a point when people says that you may never know if there's a mismatched until you try. I agree somewhat, but there are some cases you already knew yet you jump in. Who to blame then? Imagine you are at a bakery and you insist on poking your finger into every cake before you buy the one you like. Would the baker allow you to? Imagine you tell your fiance's father that you want to "test drive" his daughter before you marry her. Would he applaud you? So how do we really know? We don't!! But I urge you (importantly myself too), bail out when you know before more damage is done. To yourself/him/her, your/his/her wallet, your/his/her heart, etc, etc.

Sure in Uncertainty,
Michael Kuan a.k.a WindyG

Opposing Anarchy.

John 3:19-21

"19This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but men loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil. 20Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that his deeds will be exposed. 21But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what he has done has been done through God."

Anarchy

n : a state of lawlessness and disorder

Wow...wow..bow wow??

Its been such a long time since i last wrote. Much has happened since then. Heard distinctively the cry of the people ever since the last made a whimper. (You rarely hear anything in Singapore.) Enough is said about the recent saga that became the "talk of the town" in regards to a certain well-known charity here. So, i won't add on my two cents worth.

However, it gave me an opportunity to seriously evaluate my own integrity on how i am living my life. Would i be secure should my skeletons in the closet be exposed for all the world to see? I doubt it. We all are keeping dark secrets. This secrets are plainly known as sins. Don't bull me that you have no sins ok? I chose not to dwell on the negative though. It then lead me to think about actions that provides constructive solutions that opposes personal anarchy. Anarchy can be plainly explained from the first verse of the Satanic Bible. Its, "Do what thou willed." Well, any really smart dingdong should understand that if we were to subscribe to that, the result would be just be the plain and potent anarchy state.

What then can oppose anarchy? Simple. Accountability. Simple yet many find it hard to do. Most chose to account selectively. Selectively account some truths, omit some facts and only to some people (usually only the people that agrees with you). Is that being really accountable then? Of Course NOT! Should that be the case then we are all "responsibly" accounting! True and no nonsense accountability have these characteristics.

1) It is made known to CORRECT RESPONSIBLE PEOPLE. This is the toughest part. Most times it may be assigned to you, but when its not, you have to actively seek it. Sometimes we are resistant to the authority that is assign to us. In my case, its my God, my conscience, my country's laws and the roles that i play as a contributing person in the society.

2) It is made known plainly, truthfully and confidently. Plainly? Without flowery words or confusing jargon that's misleading. Truthfully? Without omissions of truths nor commission of lies. Confidently? If should a fact be made known without confidence, then the person/s is unsure of his own integrity.

3) It can withstand the test of time and is beyond reproach.

4) It is not subjective to emotions.

5) It strives in its best to answer all doubts. Should that be impossible, it must firm that benefit of a doubt can be easily given.

True accountability can also be synonymous with being responsible. A irresponsible person hates to account for his deeds, words and thoughts. To sum it all up, without proper accounting in a person or organization, anarchy ensue.

Why do i create this blog? It is to account to myself and challenge my thoughts in the yesterday, to day and tomorrows.

So...submit to the authorities of your life. Should you find the need to hide, I pray that you brace yourself and face the music.

In truth,
Michael Kuan a.k.a WindyG

When is Silence no longer Golden?

Just Be Willing

" When the sun awakens in the morning,
When the moon arises in the night,
Where the peace awaits you in the silence,
Where the love enfolds you in the light.

Just be willing to sit in the silence,
Just be willing not to know,
If your willing to sit in the silence,
Then your light will surely grow.

All you need to do is just be willing,
All you need to do is just relax,
Where the peace that passes understanding,
Gently guides you on your chosen path.

Just be willing to sit in the silence,
Just be willing not to know,
If your willing to sit in the silence,
Then your peace will surely grow.

Take one breath and then you take another,
Breathe love in and then you breathe it out,
It's a circle with no start or ending,
That's what love itself is all about.

Just be willing to sit in the silence,
Just be willing not to know,
If your willing to sit in the silence,
Then your love will surely grow."
--- Jack and Janet Needham
Authors of "The Zebra Hunter"
- A Journey of Truth, Love, and Compassion

Argh...Sigh...not posted for a long time coz the PC crashed on me. Couple with the so many things that demand, demand and demands my attention. Surely, i do need my time of reflections. To wind down and to stop in my tarrying. Life is not a bed of roses, but it can be. Depends on my wants or aspirations. To be contented is bliss...sadly I'm Not. So here I stand on the crossroad everyday, wondering where is should go. An indecisive mind is a true pathetic state. Coz you won't fail when you don't try. Ironically, you would had already fail when you don't take that leap.

Bladder giving me hell of a time again. Mustn't succumb...have to hang on...but to what? In sooth I know not why I'm so sad...

In Pain,
Michael Kuan a.k.a WindyG